Getting into the loony bin
by lina239
Summary: What if the only way Harry could stay at Hogwarts for the summer was to act insane. A one shot. set in 3th year.


This is just a one shot that I thought of. 

Getting into the loony bin

Harry Potter thought about the trying day he had. At least Sirius is free and I didn't face Voldemort this year. After saving his innocence godfather, he and Hermione had barely gotten into the hospital wing in time to be yelled at. After that Harry really wanted some alone to write to his Godfather to insure he was okay. So he slipped away before anyone could notice. His escape was successful, but he was so distracted that he stepped onto a magical staircase that had already moved. So Harry Potter fell down three stories.

These kinds of things only happen to me, was the first thought Harry had when he came around. He tried opening his eyes, but it was too bright. So he kept his eyes closed. Harry knew just by the smell that he was in the Hospital wing AGAIN!

The hospital wing doors opened letting in three people, judging by the footsteps.

"Headmaster is there any way for, Harry to stay with me?" asked Sirius. Harry smiled his father's friend was safe.

"I sorry, my dear boy, but Harry must be with the Dursleys the only family he has left," Dumbledore said.

"I'm his family, I'm his Godfather for goodness sake," Sirius said.

"Oh yes, Black, a fugitive from the Minstery of Magic is the perfect father-figure for the boy-who-lived, you will be perfectly able to protect Potter while Aurors are throwing curses at your back for not only killing the Potters but also kidnapping their son," Snape said.

"You Death Eat-" Sirius started.

"I'm sorry but Severus has a point, it's just not possible to keep you both safe and, the blood wards already do a great job of protecting Harry," Dumbledore interjected.

"Then let me stay with him," Sirius pleaded.

"That would do more harm than good. Another wizard in the area that would alert Voldemort to Harry's location," Dumbledore said.

"I'm sorry Headmaster but don't you think it was a bit unnatural that Harry would take my offer of living with me without knowing what kind of person I am," Sirius tired in a different vein.

"Boy Wonder probably sick of sharing the attention with his cousin, and thought he would get the limelight all to himself if under the tender mercies of Black," Snape said.

"At this time Harry's safely is more important than his happiness, the only way Harry could stay in Hogwarts with Sirius is if he were to go insane," Dumbledore said. Sirius then ran out the wing unable to keep his temper any longer

Harry didn't pay attention to anything else. He let that last phase repeat in his mind. Harry could stay in Hogwarts with Sirius if he were to go insane. Harry could stay in Hogwarts with Sirius if he were to go insane. Harry could stay in Hogwarts with Sirius if he were to go insane.

After years of merciless beatings and punishments Harry could finally escape. All he had to do was act insane. Harry blinked his eyes again, finding that now the light was bearable. Time to start acting.

"Ron stop giving me more homework, and Hermione I'm not going to help you study the chicken is to hot," Harry said.

Dumbledore and Snape both turned to look at Harry.

"No, mum I don't want to kiss the bee it might want to dance with me," Harry said, hoping for the best.

"Headmaster, I bet Potter is faking it, trying to stay in the spotlight as always," Snape said.

"Dance with me purple horsey, dance or I'll never get over the rainbow," Harry said while pretending to dance. He found it quite fun and started the can-can.

"Oh horsey you must have a name," Harry said.

"Oh right, old friend I'll check," Dumbledore said. He went towards Harry and looked him in the eye. Meanwhile Harry was thinking about everything he was going to say next. Dumbledore was caught off guard because he only saw surface thoughts like " I always knew boots were yummy,' or "Llamas will rule the world". Dumbledore then sadly drew out of Harry's mind.

"I'm sorry my friend but Harry is completely insane," Dumbledore said with dismay.

"Fairies please stop picking my nose," Harry said.

"Well, Headmaster I am going to check myself," Snape said. Harry panicked inside, Snape had a way to check if he was sane or not.

So Harry thought of a plan, to shock Snape and at the same time keep his insane act up.

In the name in truth, righteousness and keeping away from the Dursleys Harry hugged Snape.

"Daddy could you please buy me chocolate and a Gameboy and a green bunny and-." said Harry all while hugging Snape into shock and then holding the potions bat's hands while running around the hospital wing. Harry then dropped his fainted teacher at Dumbledore's feet.

Harry Potter was the first man who had the pleasure of seeing Dumbledore's mouth hang open in a hundred years. So the boy-who-lived did something most of us would like to do, but never get the chance to do it.

He ripped up a hospital bed sheet ( as he knew it could be fixed in a minute), made a bird's nest ( while singing "making house for birdys" in a very off key voice) and put it in Dumbledore's open month. Afterwards he started jumping on the hospital beds (because they were all empty). Harry was having the time of his life.

By the time Dumbledore got back to his senses, Harry had started painting the walls (who knows where he got the paint). Dumbledore then got Snape out of shock.

"I'm afraid Harry is insane and will have to stay at Hogwarts for the rest of the summer ," Dumbledore said gravely. Harry smiled and started throwing paint at them. This is going to be the best summer ever Harry thought.

Dumbledore threw up a shielding spell covering both himself and Snape. I hope Harry gets better or we are all doomed Dumbledore thought.

Snape started cleaning the hospital wing as best he could when he saw the shield go up. This is going to be the longest summer ever Snape thought.


End file.
